July 17
05:25
Here We are. No cigarettes, no tobacco. It’s actually quite nice. It’s just the same thing, only without that shit. But hey, it’s the first day, so We’ll see what happens. It’s gonna be interesting, that’s for sure.
Still have two to three minutes of time to sot here and write, though these mosquitos are really getting at Us for some reason. Probably like the fact We’re not smoking right now. Yeah, they probably fucking do. Can’t let it bother Us though. Just gotta keep that shit up. Keep it up and keep it going.
08:12
Sure We think about that shit. It’s rough, but it’s not impossible, it’s not harsh. Hard… Sure. But it seems this shit ain’t a problem. Just gotta get through it. That’s all…
09:22
It’s actually easier than We thought. It’s just different. It’s hella different. There’s this sense of something lacking, a sorta sense of something that’s to be done. But then We remember there’s nothing to do it with. We relinquished that shit. We’re going in a strange direction. It’s funny. Isn’t it.
10:05
Get back to this. Always get back to this. Gotta do everything We can to maintain this. So, let’s just smoke a big CBD cone tonight. That’s something We can do. Maybe it’s not even necessary. We’ll see by the time We get to the evening.
Well… It’s a sort of hell. We want it, but We don’t. It’s like We wish we could, gotta make sure We can’t. Don’t ask a single motherfucker for a cigarette, don’t buy that crap. Whatever man. Gotta keep pushing through. This might be the harshest thing We’ll ever do.
11:27
Almost got every hour down now. Missed six and seven. But that’s when we’re running and getting Our job to its potential state of production. Otherwise, good friends, … Fuck… Always falling asleep. Damn…. Keep drifting off. Fuuuuuuuck… Whatever’s this, this nodding off. Gonna have to stay awake in this bitch. Because they will fuck Us over. For a long ass time you know. Don’t even know what the fuck We’re really saying…
But damn though. As soon’s We grab this phone. We start getting tired as fuck. Nodding off and shit.
We’re actually thinking more, more focused it seems. Or that’s what it seems like. Don’t know if it’s true. Though it’s not all negative, or in a nasty way. Because they often say that quiting the smoke can bring forth some sense of depression.
12:58
Real quick. Just quick. Sometimes that’s all We need.
See real quick. But We always get distracted by one or the other idiot that’s bitching about everything from the past, and whining about what could happen in the future.
13:07
On to the next one though. Straight from one to the next. No time to waste. Colleague is off doing shit with the dozer. We could doze of again. But then We can’t fucking write this shit down.
It’s a mess. Can’t do shit with that guy around. He can’t stay there, or go and do shit. It’s always back outside, go push piles, and back again. Blabbing and blabbing. Sipping his coke, smoking his cigarettes, one after the other. Never touched a drop of water unless everything else has been consumed.
Funny thing. Wrote this shit, and all of a sudden he leaves… And goes to do whatever
It’s a little too early to start a new one. Maybe We can close Our eyes for just a bit.
14:11
God damn dust. That’s some bullshit. The world can’t handle this amount of dust… Fuck man. The moment we get this thing out and start writin redg. That’s what We meed. Damn man, this’ BB.
How come We can’t write shit down. Just a little, not even that. We keep nodding off, not even dreaming. Just a deep dive into these unwanted thought patterns.
Fuck man. Shit’s really bugging Us. How in the fuck are We gonna get through this. We’re really fucked in the a**hole. Damn man. Like instantly, not even a…
Fuck this shit…
15:12
Another one…
We ain’t gonna do it like this. That would be stupid. This was just some experiment, and you know. Tired as fuck. Couldn’t even stay awake during the short ones. What if We attempted a longer note. Don’t know what that shit was though. As soon as We grabbed the phone and started typing, after a line or three, We’d go into visual drifts and eventually towards nodding off. Strange right. So weird.
Hey, fuck it. Gotta take a shit now, that’s all. That’s what’s important at the moment. Taking a shit. That’s all… Definitely. If We can do it, well, We’ll be particularly happy. Don’t know though, hope so, for Our shit’s sake.
18:20
Had some strange thing occur. Was talking with a guy. Well. He came up to Us, asked Us a lot of shit. But you know Us, once We start going, well, We’re of the rails and going wild. That’s just what happens, you know. It’s weird. Kinda liked it, but We never really do. It’s sorta fun. But then again, it’s not really. Because in and of itself it’s a waste of time, because We’re not getting better, not really. We’re helping someone to get better, or at least attempting that shit. Which is a noble thing to do. But We don’t really care about nobility. What We truly care about is the hardships in front of Us. And this was one of those moments where We can focus on, practice, that speaking thing. That inspirational nature of Our life. Hope it works for them. Hope it does. Worked for Us. Real hard at first, but now it’s just easy. All of it. Just easy.
July 18
01:02
So, We never really did it like this. Strange right. Never occurred to Us, doing the recording. Eventually a little write off.
Just had a lightbulb. Listening to the recording at the same time as this. That’s something We don’t often do. Well, We got this thing rolling now, sucking on a cone, writing out this junk.
We can hear. It’s not bad, but it’s not good either. Might get hella different later on in the recording. Though We should listen to this crap tomorrow.
Might just go for sitting in complete silence. We need that silence. So let’s get it…
Fuck this shit. Let’s continue when We wake up…
14:31
We’re actually pretty nice out here. It’s easy man. Would’ve expected this shit to be a lot harder. But now that We’re here, it’s not really something We want. It’s more of an idea. A notion in the back of Our mind. It sits there, slumbering. Maybe some days We will yearn beyond anything, just to get one more cigarette. Today is not that day. Or maybe just this moment. Could be just this moment. Could come a minute when We’re out there, a minute when We’re getting back. Doesn’t matter… There’re plenty of those minutes, seconds, where the mind shifts. But you can manage all the time. There’s no doubt about that shit. You can easily manage.
This is it for now, gotta get going again when there’s more time open for Us to do this. Though sometimes the pressure of a ticking clock isn’t such a bad thing…
18:48
Man, it’s so weird. Real weird. Feel so strange. Wonder if those workouts will feel the same as yesterday. Was strange. We’ll see though, soon enough. Or rather, feel. Feel that shit.
Man what the actual fuck is going on… Don’t fucking get it. All this shit. The tiredness, the typing… The nodding off, the freaking… Whatever. All that weird shit it has to go. Now. Has to go…
Guess it’s just some adjustment from a once lazy life style to a hardcore everyday grind. Just gonna have to get used to this…
Really is strange though. Really is weird… You know. Just one fucking day without cigarettes. Well, now it’s the second. It’s not that We’re going crazy. Not at all. The weird thing. We’re so tired man. So fucking tired.
Everytime We open this thing, We work on shit together, but We start nodding off. It’s weird, isn’t it. Why the actual fuck do We nod off doing this thing, goin those places.
July 19
12:54
So… Failure once again. Lately it’s become real hard to get out of bed during the weekends. Weekdays isn’t a problem. Well, so far. Gonna keep it that way too. But weekends man. They keep fucking Us up. Maybe it’s because We’re practically dead from those weeks with little amounts of sleep and a rough training schedule. Though We chose this shit. We did. We wanted this shit. So We’re gonna have to do it. You know. Become the master. Of Our own fate. And faith too…
Fuck man. Gonna get Us ready for a run. Gonna be a short one. Compared to Our usual one of course. Sometimes that shit’s necessary. Let the body recover a little, and take off certain pressure.
In any sense. Fuck it… Fuck all of it. For some reason We can’t seem to change it. Or at least, when We reach a certain point, We vanish. We wake up real early, and We’re like fuck this, right. Because We got an alarm. But then We wake up a couple more times along the way, and eventually We sleep through the alarm. We probably do turn it off, but We drop back into the mattress like a stone. That’s what happens every time. We don’t even know it. Something that’s really hard to counter. Because that means We don’t know what’s really happening.
Let’s get ready though. Wasting time here.
17:49
This is the latest We’ve ever gone. This shit is getting out off hand. It really is. But We’re also going back into this forgetful mode where We forget things We should do. Example… Cut those damn finger nails. We’ve been looking at these motherfuckers for a couple of days now. But still…
Yeah. We don’t wanna be this tired little bitch any longer, but just don’t know what to do about it. Maybe We should go see a doctor and let him check if everything’s fine. But then again that’s dangerous. Because there’s definitely something wrong. And We can’t stop doing this because We got a mission. A never ending one.
Maybe all of it’s just in the mind. Maybe that’s true.
How can We beat being such a lazy tired little bitch? That’s a damn good question. Isn’t it. How can We overcome this dragging drowsiness? We gotta find a way to get ourself above all this. Stop focusing energy on how We feel. How we feel is an illusion. That’s not real. That’s just what We think We should feel because of the things We are doing. But this ain’t the truth. Because We know, We know damn well that most of this shit gives energy. A whole lot of energy. So much in fact it’s possible to compound these things 24/7, 7/7… So yeah. There’s no end to this energy. But Our mind wishes to think different in order to protect Us from the truth. In order to protect Us from the reality that We’ve been a little bitch for so long and avoided all this shit just because of a little bit of pain and struggle. Something We’re starting to realize though. So how long can the mind keep up this delusion. Not that long anymore, right. We gotta fucking beat that thing. Make sure We beat that thing and become more energetic once again. Because We can. Because it’s there, deep inside, it awaits Our acceptance. It awaits Our open hands and Our understanding of the power that’s gifted to any human being on this planet.
20:41
We was gonna write. Didn’t write shit. Well. Now We are. About not writing shit. Hey, who the fuck does that, right. Not many mofos out there that’s for sure.
Well, it’s a compromise. Because We’re smoking that shit when yesterday We sorta said We shouldn’t. But that was in a form of rage, a form of disgust. Maybe We’ll gain a similar disgust. Well, that might just be what one needs to change their ways. A particular disgust that has them obsess about their ways in a negative sense to eventually act on this sensation and cease to exist in that particular way.
We know now though. We understand now, this is the way to do it. For now. Maybe tomorrow We don’t have to. Maybe. Maybe Tuesday. Maybe Wednesday… It usually drags for a little bit. But if you’ve got the character, then. Well… Then you’ll manage eventually. Think about this shit though. Really go deep into this madness. This mess… For now, We might be able to use this. But when will it become abuse?
22:48
Don’t know if this is such a smart idea. Who the fuck knows. Gonna try. It’s gonna be a piece of cake. Honestly. We were still blazing it up about a year ago, year and a half. Still hitting those cones real hard. This ain’t shit compared to that.
This gonna be a quicky though, because We ain’t got much time. Never got much time anyway. Still doing the shit. Still doing the shit. All of it.
But now We know, this one, We shouldn’t do this one. You know. Because this one here is rushed, hurried. Don’t do that shit. Just don’t. It’s not gonna help Us.
What will help Us is taking Our sweet time.
Little under seven hours of sleep left. So let’s go and get that shit. Really get that shit.
This one was too big. Gotta roll these fuckers a little smaller. Tomorrow maybe, but Tuesday We shouldn’t. We really shouldn’t. Can’t make that shit into a habit.
Sleep tight idiot. Let’s get this shit. We can get this shit. Just gotta get it.
July 20
06:23
Damn Monday. What a mess. But hey. We didn’t do shit, so We still don’t deserve shit. Gotta do shit first, before We can get any in return. Can’t deny the logic behind that shit.
Think this is it though. You know. The writing. The creation of this here. It’s gotten a lot more serious over time. It’s probably gonna get a lot more serious.
We’re still dicking around, that’s who We are, that’s what this’ supposed to be. But the essence has become thicker, more laid out. You know. Building layer upon layer. The ground work if you will.
This shit. It was actually worse before We came out here on the balcony. Really apt on a smoke. Now not so much. Well, We weren’t even thinking about that shit. We forgot all about the goal of writing on this craziness. But actually. It’s not as crazy as they claim it to be.
This is it for now. See ya later pall…
08:36
It’s a strange hard. A weird sense. Gonna take a nap no doubt. Gotta start that fucker asap. We can write this shit in about an hour actually.
Doesn’t matter… A little bit here. Little bit there. It’s that simple.
Fuck, these memories rise from the abyss…
09:11
Try and go deep. Deep into everything. The workouts, the running. The writing. Even the sleeping. Go hard on all of it. That’s all that matters. Going hard.
Instant shut eye. Instant nod off…
10:33
This is it. You know. This sense. Whenever any of that shit pops up… Well. Grab this and start. Fill the gaps. Bridge the unknown and bind what’s unaware. There’s so much to learn from all this. The annoyance, the pain, the struggle. The delusion, dissociation… The insanity.
When will they ever get it? Any of them? These things you call emotions, notions of feeling. All these things that course your veins and fill you with joy, attachment… They’re non-existent in Our case. There’s no love, no real hate, no happiness, no sadness… There’s nothing, not one single thing. Just an empty vessel without connective capacities.
11:29
It’s very interesting… All of that shit. There’s not much to argue about. Not much to figure out. There’s not much to uncover. It’s all in all. Everything together yet separate. There’s not a shred of life that’s been of value. Well, no value to the outside. The inside’s a different story.
12:49
Funny thing, ain’t it. Well… We smoked with every motion. Every action had a cigarette in Our mouth.
13:28
Guess time drifts. Shifts from one hand to the next. Guess We’re stuck here for a while. At least until We make this thing work.
It’s about Us. But it’s also about all of them. It’s about everyone. Well. A lot of that shit is. In any sense. Strange sense.
Are you ever tense beyond anything, everything cramping up, clutching. Creaking and cracking bones, joints pressured into each other.
But it’s okay. Just get a new thing going like this. Don’t need to start a new note every hour. Just keep going. Sure thing after a couple of hours. Then you can start a new thing. It’s only been half an hour, that’s not a lot.
Damn tight sore appendages.
14:55
Guess We’ll get a new one now. Well. Don’t really know what to say here. Gotta go take a shit.
Always that same freaking thing right. You know, the day in day out bullshit. It never changes, really. Doesn’t matter where you go, the heights you reach, the fields you conquer. It doesn’t matter what you do, but that bullshit will always catch up. Always. There’s no doubt about that. Maybe it’s because We need this. Maybe as humans We need this thing bugging the shit out of Us. That could be the reason for its persistent nature. Wouldn’t be so surprised either… If that were the case. It’s somewhat like what else did you expect. Easy goings, simple flow, piece of cake playthrough. Man… Honestly man… Really… You really think this shit’s supposed to be easy? If you do you’re in the wrong place for sure. It’s supposed to be hard, it’s supposed to suck, that’s what makes it unique. Because only you can experience this shit in your way. You will adapt to it, you will gain these particular injuries, you will make a certain progress, you’ll create a process along the way. You will live this in your own way. That’s your way of life. But it only exists when struggle and suffering are introduced into these hours and minutes of awakening.
15:25
We’re good for now. Write some shit when We’re home…
17:20
Back home… Balcony shit. No CBD now. Gotta do all those workouts first. Hit the store, groceries and shit. Honestly. If We really think about it… This shit ain’t so bad. Just gotta find that line We can thread. There’s a line without a doubt.
Out here… It’s a holiday tomorrow. Still gotta get that shit in. Always gotta get that shit in. There’s no room for discussion or compromise there. That shit no longer exists.
Gotta start figuring basics for the 100k that’s coming up. After that it’s the 24h and We gotta hit a 100 miles this time. Can’t fail that shit again.
Well. It’s funny. If you’d ask Us anything back in the day. Asked Us about this ultra shit, asked Us about working out. Asked Us about going hard. Anything that had anything to do with this, you could’ve asked… But all you would’ve got was some bullshit answer powered by imagination and a lot of shit about how things could be done different.
Now. You can ask Us, but the best answer would be for Us to show you. To reveal the nature of this madness. This insanity. We’ve become that which We wished to be for so long… We’ve finally become the motherfucker. But this journey ain’t over, far from… Nah, this shit has just begun. This madness is only starting. It’s the beginning of the beginning that’s required to start with starting.
Well. Guess We’ll figure this shit out along the way. At least, that’s what We should.
July 21
00:39
Ha, it’s funny…
Just an excuse like any other
That’s what We said when thinking the reason We’re watching some YouTube bullshit was that We had to charge this stupid phone. We can fucking charge it in the morning.
Slowly but surely… We will get there…
12:22
So you know. Now you know. It is you. It has always been you. Nobody else. Not the job, not the staying up late bullshit. You put yourself in that position. Because once you nap in, you’ll keep napping in until it’s too late.
That’s just how it works. And every time you do this, well, you’re wasting hours and hours on nothing but stupid dreams and what not, where instead you could be getting after it. You could. But you didn’t. That’s too bad ain’t it.
Can’t get the time back, none of it. Not the wasted hours, not the productive minutes, and definitely not the endorphin rich tweaking seconds.
Gonna have to do shit in order to gain shit. That’s how it works. So here We sit. Slamming that digital keyboard and staring at a pixelated rectangle. This shit is crazy. It always was, but now. Now it’s much more than that.
Dude, think about the entirety of this. We might be in a simulation, which we’re probably not. This might just be something entirely different. But even if we were, then that suggestion of it being a single player, and everybody around you is a program. That would be real stupid, because why then would so many of us go about saying this shit. If it really was then it would be more subtle. To drive those thoughts away from the possibility, not towards and eventually dismiss its validity.
Well… That’s how We look at these things. Could be wrong, so wrong you know. It’s crazy. This place. The way it changed over the years. How they started playing their game focused on the addictive nature of human beings, and most of all, children. Yeah, the children are fucked. Definitely.
The way We do this though. How We get from sleeping to much to the point where We’re discussing the nature of Our existence based on the game of life. Still don’t get the mind ourself. Fuck, probably never will understand this strange concoction of neurons misfiring at lightning speeds and shooting off notions into existence. Things that shouldn’t even come to mind at any given moment.
17:18
We’re fucked. Guess it’s never gonna work. Because We’re so far behind on sleep. And every regular weekday We push that debt further into the abyss. Might cost Us everything some day in the future. Don’t know. Maybe We can handle this shit. Don’t fucking know. We’re fucked… That’s all We know. Fucked pretty good. So… Guess We won’t be doing this type of shit any longer. Well, probably. Actually, We know ourself, so, We might just keep doing it. Because for some stupid unknown reason you just don’t seem to care about a change in this life all that much. It still seems to be a joke… Whatever. You’re probably never gonna take this seriously. Don’t know why. Don’t know why you keep sabotaging your future. And sure… We’re broken, sure We’re still going hard, sure We’re doing all this and all that. But it ain’t enough. There’s more to be done. And you can only do so much in a single day, that’s true. But if you never start, shit will never finish. That’s up to you. Nobody else’s responsible for this crap.
22:41
Gotta get in something, right. Doesn’t matter what it is. Get used to the notion. Before bed, get some shit down. Get it down.
What is it with these people. Figure it out. Figure it the fuck out. Get deep inside your brain and figure it the fuck out. Into that tiniest detail. That’s how important that is. But don’t busy yourself with others. Fuck others, just know you gotta figure out these different personalities. All these different types of people. Because usually there’s only a couple of people, a couple of types. But one thing is common among any type. We’re just a bunch of idiots. That’s all We are.
And when you really look at this shit. What does it matter. What does it matter really. Right. It doesn’t matter. People will be people, and savages will be savages. It’s up to you where you wanna belong.
See ya tomorrow, punk. Get some good sleep. Please do. We need it. That good rest. That awesome deep sleep, a bunch of REM, and some light nod offs. Let’s get it…
July 22
06:22
Well. It’s a Wednesday already. Honestly. Gotta stop with that mediocre thinking. Gotta stop with that slave mentality. Week weekend type shit. That’s stupid. This is seven outa seven three sixty five. So act that way. In order to get somewhere, We gotta act that way. It’s always. All the time, forever and ever. There’s no end to this. There shouldn’t be. This is what We do, this is what We’re supposed to do.
Why are We dying so much though. Lately We’ve been dying so much. It’s not even funny anymore. Used to be a little funny. Now it’s straight up annoying. Can’t fucking sleep for shit. Tonight was a mess. We had Our chance to get shit going. To get a good rhythm. Something said fuck it. Something really said fuck it.
Sick of that shit…
Guess We’ll figure something out. As always…
08:23
Maybe that’s the trick. Not sitting down for too long. But guess We could nap, though if We do nap then We’re probably fucked… Probably… Most definitely. Fucked in the A-hole.
Well. Shit hits different now. It’s strange, ain’t it. Just one change. Fuck man. Just one change and Our entire existence is flipped on it’s head. Man… This shit… This fucking way of life ain’t normal. Nobody’s gonna do this shit. Nobody’s gonna wanna do this shit.
That much is certain right here and right now. Of all the idiots that surround this piece of shit, meaning Us, none would even think about doing this crap. Gonna have to look all over the globe for people to connect with. Not purposefully though. It’s something that happens.
11:28
Hey, don’t fucking know. Still got tired, still got close to nodding the fuck off and entering that awakened dreamstate. Very dangerous considering the fact We’re driving around with wheel loaders and shit. Hey, shouldn’t give a fuck. We’re only human. But sometimes We’re a little bit more than human. Sometimes We get closer to god. Sometimes We go beyond Our own capabilities.
It’s weird, isn’t it.
We didn’t even do it on purpose. The three notes are spaced apart almost correctly on the minutes. Not as close with the last one, and the two hour mark shifted towards three. Maybe that’s better… Who the fuck knows.
13:30
Two hours now. A little bit extra.
Gotta do the ordinary extra. That’s what gets you to that other level. That’s all there is to it. But they want you to be a certain way. They want you to behave a certain way. Whatever… They can’t make Us the way they wish for Us to be. Not any longer. We’re a different kind of person now.
Crazy how much more notes We produced in the last couple weeks. Three weeks to be exact. It really is crazy. Gotta go harder. Create some crazy shit.
15:29
Another one. Guess it can. Fuck man… Don’t know her intentions. She’s a bit weird. Well… Fuck it. Guess We’ll fix it. Get that shit horny as fuck.
21:20
Gotta practice. Gotta put in the miles. The physical, and the metaphorical.
Fuck man…
22:26
Shitting on the toilet.
Look. It’s always gonna be like this. Otherwise you’re just a junkie piece of shit. Now you’re a working piece of shit. It’s always gonna be something. You know what. Stay silent. Stick to the grind. Get those reps in, get those miles in. Don’t bother a soul, don’t speak to anyone. Fuck everybody. Back to the board. Get this shit going and create something big. We gotta do it. You know. Get those people even more riles up. All those that hate the work, all those that hate the grind. All those that hate on the level…
23:06
Well. Guess We just gotta prove through action instead of words. Though words are kinda Our action. Sometimes also Our inaction, but hey. Can’t be great all the time. Because to be great one must fail now and then. It’s called a humbling. Sometimes ya need that shit.
We got enough for today. Try to fix ’em in a different layout tomorrow. Try and make it work. Know it’s strange, but We can manage… Definitely.
July 23
06:23
All that crap…
Clutters the mind, doesn’t it. Make room. Clean up. Clean up the mind.
It’s a Thursday. A damn Thursday. Just another Thursday. Two hours and a half sleep. Good follow up on yesterday’s two hours. Gonna feel great. Yeah. Gonna feel perfect. Sick of the mess. Can’t seem to sleep when We must. When We shouldn’t it ain’t no problem. Ha, can’t do shit about it, probably. Never could, never will. It sucks. Sucks pretty bad. But it is what it is. Always tired, always ready to sleep except for when We have to… And always broken. Which is sorta part of the plan. So let’s go…
07:59
What are We to do with all this.
It’s a mess. Always was, always will be. Nothing about that will change. That’s just how life is. It’s always a mess. Can’t avoid the reality. The funny thing is most of that junk’s due to other people, and they don’t even know. But honestly, this is your life, your mess, so you fix it. That’s all you can do.
It’s true what they say. Set your family straight. Set ’em up for life. You don’t need a thing. Just enough to get around. That’s all you need, which is probably the issue when it comes to making money and what not. If you don’t really want it, you won’t get it. So you gotta want it.
I’ll get that money for Our sister.
I’ll get those stacks for Our father.
I’ll get the paper for the family.
Support the family.
Get the family steady.
Fucking do it. Get it, put them in a stable position. One where they can quit their jobs any time they want. But also tell them to keep working. But then drive their vision.
Fuck. It’s a long way from that. That’s for sure. Ain’t even close.
09:59
It’s simple. It’s just this. That’s all this is.
When we avoid the truth. The real truth. The one that slumbers within…
Fuck man. It’s fucked. Definitely. As soon as We start to type down shit, We fade. It’s like that hammer keeps slamming Our skull. Ain’t nobody else around to hit this hard. So he just might be having some fun.
Looking at self-immolation. That’s some real shit. Don’t know if We could call it immolation. You know, it being sacrificial in and of itself. It’s a weird this. Strange thing. It’s a fun subject. For most it’s probably not so much a fun subject. For Us it’s the best.
12:39
Yeah. A new one will do.
It’s funny, isn’t this. How people don’t know. They don’t fucking know shit about anything. And then they wonder why they getting fucked so bad. Well. Isn’t it obvious. You’re getting fucked because they run your mind. Thinking about stuff like it’s the sole thing in life that holds value. TV-programs, books, video games, movies…, and those are the fun ones. All that other shit, We ain’t even mentioning…
Crazy isn’t it. Even for someone like Us, there’s still hope. All it takes is a bunch of work, a bunch of balls, and a little bit of luck flowing forth from patience one must acquire.
Well. It sucks though. Everyday. It sucks big time. Nothing’s gonna suck like this. But it’s what’s necessary. The necessity of struggle is beyond anyone’s knowledge. That’s the truth in this message. The one thing that could unite us all. To understand that those who struggle do so for the sake of others, for the sake of the future. And We should praise those that do.
It’s a very dangerous statement though. Because most people would claim struggle here and there a couple times throughout their life. Well… Fuck your bullshit. Struggle is a lot like salmon swimming against the current. Gotta break through. Not flow along. And what most people do is the latter of those two. So, that’s not real struggle. That’s just a rough time, a time which you did nothing about…
Maybe it’s harsh, you know, Us saying all this crap. Could be the case for some people. But being someone who let life rule his motions, and changing that into We’re gonna figure this bullshit out… Well. Think We can start to say particular things. Certain lines that cross a line for many.
15:08
Fuck. Didn’t expect We had something down on the last one. Don’t know what this one will bring. Never know what they bring of course. All made up on the spot. Ad lib as they say. It truly is in a certain manner because We never really prepare anything. Maybe a first line. Maybe… But even then. It usually turns out to be something entirely different.
So random…
The way We make these things is just the same. So random. You’ll never know exactly what’s hidden because none of it really makes any sense. Doesn’t even make that much sense to Us, though We do know what it’s sorta about. And We leave clues of sorts lying around for those willing and understanding to find.
Will it grant you success in life, a better living, more money, better accomplishments, prestigious achievements… Not really. Doesn’t work like that. What it will do is grant a path to a particular freedom. That’s a certainty. We only got half of it, not even half, and We’re as free as a bird, even more so. And it will only grow from here, that freedom.
It’s a particular detachment from all that which bothers the simple narrow mind. These are not negative terms, they are merely descriptive. Not saying Our mind is the opposite, whatever that would be. Well, We know the opposite it should be, though it’s not fully adapted to that nature. And it is a work in progress… Always a work in progress. Even the Mona Lisa is never fully finished. It was close, though never fully there. It can’t be. And that to Us is what makes art so beautiful. It’s not the finished pieces. It’s those unfinished representatives of life. The beauty in them is magnificent. Beyond anything…
17:31
Balcony…
That’s where the magic’s gonna happen. Well, everywhere. But definitely here. Every minute We got. Well, it’s a minute We should spend on this. Of course not every minutes gonna get that allotment. We’ll try though. We’ll always try, and maybe one day get it right.
Gotta stop though, with that shit… You know, letting any of it bother Us. But maybe it’s a process… A route We must walk in order to improve ourself. Although, We wind up at the same conclusion every time. It doesn’t fucking matter, it is of no importance to Us nor the universe. And in the end We’ll forget about it, and they will too, and eventually everybody will die that knows about it so… What the fuck does it really matter.
What the actual fuck does any of it really matter. Should it. That’s not even a question. That’s a fucking statement.
Let it be what it is and it will become something else entirely. That’s what that is truly. There’s no other way. Time will sift through those that aren’t worthy of its effect. And the effect We refer to is growth. Not in the self help guru bullshit sense. In the adaptive evolving sense. True growth. To grow from one self and become another. Not a higher self, not a better version. Another being entirely. Something unexpected. A thing that wasn’t part of the plan. It’s never really part of the plan, because there ain’t no fucking plan. It’s unraveling itself. Make it cease every motion for just one second, and have it continue knowing your involvement.
21:53
Gotta prepare the new one. We got this last bit though.
Fuck you, and fuck your pain. Fuck them, and fuck their bullshit. Fuck this, and fuck its issues. Fuck all of it.
Fuuuuuck…
Let’s go. Let’s fucking do this. There’s nothing else to do. What else is there to do… Other than this you know. We’re here, in the bed. Still doing it. Still getting at it. Is it something… Don’t fucking know. What is it. Just Us. It’s not even Us doing anything in particular. Just Us being Us and putting that shit on a digitalized note. That’s it. Is it useful… Not to many, well, We don’t suppose it would be. But it might be to some. To those it is just knowing, understanding, that what it takes is this. Today’s a good one. Done early, but here We are, stretching time. Always stretching time. Always. So it is getting later. Though We’re giving this in return. Always give something in return for the time wasted.
Guess We’re done for today. Make that next week, get it ready so We can just get it on tomorrow, like straight away. No worries.
Gotta make it work though. Gotta fucking do it. Gotta fucking do it.