July 3
05:24
Another batch. Another crazy attempt at something unknown.
My calve’s fucked up… Or is it that meniscus. Maybe it’s the tendon extension of the hamstring. Hey. Either way, We gotta run. Gotta work out. No matter what.
Like We said and will continue to say. No matter the cost, no matter the price, this shit has to be done. We’ve got to get it in. It’s just some soreness… Right. Push beyond the soreness.
That’s all for now. Try and get shit in if you have a solitary moment on the job. Let’s hope so…
14:30
Damn, it was a busy day. Didn’t have the time to jot down anything. That’s rough, you know. Took a nap though. A well deserved nap if you ask Us.
Fuck…
Not so tired now, are We. Gonna make this thing work. Gotta run, work out, and get some food. That’s it… Get some rest too, you know… Good sleep. Hard to get that these last days. Don’t know why. Maybe We’re dying after all. Maybe… But We won’t know until that really happens. Whenever that is.
Take a shit, grab the clothes, and We’re out of here. Fucking job. But you need one, for now. Let’s make sure that shit changes. Gotta work it out… Like the workouts. It’s simple, just don’t know how simple yet.
16:22
It’s Friday… So let’s take it easy…
Just kidding. We can’t take it easy. We can’t take it easy any longer. Got somewhere to go. Got someone to be… Ourself. This fucked up piece of shit. Gotta become more, better, quicker… Everything. All that rests within these veins, sits within these bones, slumbers within this spirit. Everything has to be awakened. The only way. Struggle, hardship, opposition… Pressure. Tons and tons of pressure. That’s the only way.
Become who you’re destined to be. Whoever the fuck that might be, it doesn’t matter. But it’s somewhere at the end of all this. Maybe along the way. Definitely along the way… Because this shit’s endless. Infinite. That’s the beautiful part about all of this. The infinity. It is true madness, an insanity not many can handle. You’ve been dealing with this your entire life. That’s why We became Us. That’s why We exist. To alleviate and spread the pain, the realization… As the madness sinks deeper and deeper. As truth is revealed by the flow of a turbulent life that won’t cease. At least not just yet.
Let’s fucking go. Let’s get this shit. All of it, all that We deserve. But to deserve We must work hard. Go beyond the standard, do the extra on top of the ordinary.
What’s the extra, and most of all, what’s the ordinary? Because to do these things one must give a percentage of himself to the life and it’s moments. To progress through the flow…
Be in this life, and nowhere else. But in this life everywhere else will be presented. Through the mind, the maddening gateway to past and future. And once in the past, all sorrow and horror will arise. Once in the future, all hopes and wishes come to life. So why is it one clings to these things really. Is it to feel a comfort, a notion that all will change and everything was hellish before. Yet we never make these dreams become truth, nor fix that languishing sorrow and repeating horror show. We keep these things bottled up and return to them when times get hard or boring. Shifting into this woken dreamlike state of pondering what could’ve been and what could become.
Nothing… Never anything if one continues down that path. That’s something We realize now. To bring forth these dreams one must face the horror within his mind. All that ever failed, all that ever felt uncomfortable. That’s where one must go. The discomfort doesn’t fade, though you learn to manage the pain paired with what once was insurmountable.
18:40
Jij weet wel gelijk, nog lekker warm dat lijk
Hij’s five minutes gone, ik ben five inches long
Diep in je bitch, jij met je naald, ze noeme je stitch
Maar je bent niet van Lilo, ook niet van de buurt
Hey, coole lambo, maar je hebt hem gehuurd
Wille en hebbe, ze zulle je grabbe
Al drie keer gezete, ze pakte je reet he
Je leve is nice, big sells en big buys
Maar je zit achter tralis, graakt niet aan de bak
Kom op jonge, je bent naar de zak
July 4
15:04
Is this then what you want. Is it this then. Three in the afternoon. Still gotta run. Still gotta hit the store. Still gotta do all those workouts. And to be honest, We didn’t sleep that great. We never sleep that good anyway. So why waste time trying to catch up on something you know is impossible. Why… Why do We keep doing this. Why do We let it happen time and time again.
This time We let it go out of control… Because now We really got a problem. Now We’re really in trouble. You can’t go get those shoes now, can you. You forgot, didn’t you. How will you go and get those shoes?
We keep on dragging this shit. Ain’t going nowhere like this. We gotta get back on it. The workouts are great. The running is great. All that shit. But that’s all it is. That’s all there is. We’re not fixing Our situation. We’re not. As long as We don’t do that, this thing will just remain the same crap.
16:47
Gotta fix this shit man. We really gotta do something about it. There’s no room for this bullshit. There’s no room for these types of errors. These mistakes if you will.
The thing is. The shin’s not better, the foot’s not better, the Achilles tendon’s not better. Nothing’s better even with that extra sleep. It doesn’t work like that. We lost so much time. We barely got any as it is. So why waste even more. Why do you always let this happen. Because in this manner, you’re not going anywhere. You’re not.
Gotta prepare though… Next two weeks will destroy Us, so maybe it’s not a bad idea to lower the volume just a little bit… On the runs that is. Workouts will stay the same.
Fuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuck…
19:21
Turn this into something. A value, not for you, but for everyone. They do deserve it. They could use anything, just like yourself. But nobody’s gonna give you anything, nobody’s gonna show up for you, so maybe you show up for them.
Maybe that’s who you are. The one that shows up when life gets hard for others. Don’t know. Maybe We could be. Though We’re not the type that’s gonna solve other people’s problems… Because a person has to solve their own. Always. Ask for help if necessary, but know that the ultimate solution lies within the self.
July 5
01:36
That’s the thing. We still are… On the same bullshit as before. It is a little different, sure. Less, maybe less effective, or affected. But mainly, We’re still all about that outside world. Still all about these low life punks. Still all about their perception, or their possible perception. The possibility that they perceive Us in a certain way. Not bad nor good. Just that they acknowledge Our existence. Fuck them, and fuck Our existence. We know nothing about that shit ourself, so how could they even begin to grasp. There’s such a road ahead of Us. A lot of fucking work still. Gotta ignore all these people, gotta move between them like water moves between banks. Slithering and sliding. Wherever there’s room.
If We don’t change Our ways. Nothing will happen. We gotta outperform everything and everyone. Even Our own tiredness. Gotta find a way. Gotta find a reason. Reason is the strongest tool that exists in this world. Nothing else beats reason. And if the reason becomes the norm We are golden for life.
Figure out the reason. Focus on the reason. Build the god damn thing and create whatever’s necessary to attain and maintain the reason…
11:18
Damn sunday, We know exactly what this means. We know exactly.
Fucking last day. Back to work. Next two weeks will be a mess. Maniacal… Don’t let it bother you. Don’t let it distract you. Focus on what’s necessary… What’s important. Only this here. The work, the routine. The physical, the writing. The writing’s gotta become something. Something real fast. We need it to become… Everything.
Gotta find energy though. A ton, an endless amount of energy… Deep within Our bones. It slumbers… Wake it up. Wake it the fuck up. Gotta work hard at this shit. It’s all that matters.
Chase the noise, the voice that lingers, murmur in the brain. Make it go loud, make it go beyond. Make it talk, make it reveal. Damn, We can fucking do this. We can. We fucking can. It’s just a matter of time and consistency. That’s all it is. Keep hammering. You’ll figure it out.
16:45
Always with the naps. Either do them right or stop doing them. This shit’s fucked up. It’s not that late but it’s late, so yeah. Fucks Us out of Our time everytime.
21:46
Going early like this. Crazy. To bed, you know. Crazy. Hope We get some good sleep. We’ll get it. Get it hard. Gotta keep reinforcing. Until the reinforcing has to go up a level. Every time again. Level after level after level. Grow beyond. Not a better self, just the version you should’ve been already. Keep catching up. Keep striding forward.
July 6
05:22
Another monday. Slightly different… Let the madness commence. Gotta focus. Really focus. The task at hand… Figure out what you want. Figure out how you wanna play this game. There’s so many options. Just pick one, though really think about it. And We know… Almost certainly… We know deep down what We really want. So it’s only a matter of stumbling upon this thing. That’s all it really is. Get an idea and get it together, and when you do, everything will fall in place. Everything will eventually. There’s no doubt about that. It’s not a matter of will it work. It’s a matter of when… That’s all it is.
07:18
So it commences…
The madness. Fuck the jabs, fuck all the comments. Fuck whatever anyone’s saying. Gotta focus on the task at hand. Figure it out. Where do We wanna go. To what extent is clear. All the way… But where? Why would We go somewhere to begin with. It’s not that obvious, is it.
Work. Is it work, when it is passion. Or can We call it that even though We’d love the process. It’s like the running and working out. Something We just do.
Do religiously…
A passion. Do We have such a thing. Do We really possess a passion in this empty life.
Maybe it’s that obvious. A blog, or whatever it might become. Not a real blog… Something different. Something brand new…
Gotta get some of that old shit back out. Seems like back then We wrote completely different. It’s interesting. Don’t know if progress has been made…
10:45
Make a new note every now and then. Don’t keep bashing the same one over and over.
It’s that empty space. The room for creation. A new start, a possible finish. But nothing is certain. Not even the continuation of this life.
How could We be of value to others. What could We give those in need of what We have to offer. Do We have anything to offer at all. And why would We offer anything to begin with.
How many people could use Our help? That’s a tough one, ain’t it. Because this ain’t so special. Sure We had some big travels. Sure We did some crazy shit. But honestly. We were a punk. First class at that. Addicted, maybe. Whatever…
What did We tell ya. Focus…
Maybe We did beat some addiction. Maybe We did find a way to maintain a job and cruise through the days, without giving up.
Thing is… This is something We don’t wanna do. At all. This is exactly what We tried to avoid. But here We are nonetheless.
15:33
Gonna be a tough one. But if We can within this nature of existence… Then We surely can in any other. That’s a certainty.
We know for sure now. We know. There’s so much, all of it. Plenty to go around. Troubles, struggles, issues, problems. Whatever… But it’s easy, easy to solve that shit. The solving itself is something that’s hard, harsh if you will. It’ll destroy you. But in order to get rid of those mental obstacles, one must be reborn, and in order to be reborn, one must first be annihilated.
Become one with the powder that once was, and rise from those ashes to a new entity that holds a new beginning. A new road to travel upon. The old one has vanished, as it always does. Only now it cannot affect your decisions, it cannot affect your mind. Because it truly became the past. The past that does not exist…
It never did to begin with. Otherwise your past would stretch far beyond the day you were born…
17:23
Damn. That shin and ankle are fucked. Real fucked. Maybe We’ll manage. Not so sure though. But We’ve gotten tougher. Both physically and mentally… See how far We can push? Feel like We should. No pussy mentality here. Not anymore. That shit’s gonna hurt either way. Now or later. Better now than later.
Come on men, We can fucking see this through. We can. Just grit those teeth. Push through, pull through. Keep it going. We can… Because it is Our destiny. It is what He wants. It is. All the pain and suffering is part of the plan, His plan… Finally playing the part, the role set out for Us. And He will praise Our determination, He will respect Our drive, He will honor Our consistency.
The reward… Even more of this. The ability to do more of this. That’s all that matters. More of this…
Where do We go from here though. Guess He will show Us… It’s in those details, the finer motions of life. In between all the madness. In between all that suffering… In those moments when everything flows against Our direction. Hurricane gusts bashing into Our face, hailing rain slamming against Our body. Volcanic heat scorching Our skin. No matter what, that’s where everything slumbers. Awakening those precious insights is up to Us. If We are only willing to push through the insanity. Go beyond, go further… Continue down the road that’s covered in jungle growth. No way forward and no way back. Just a machete and Our hands to swing the dull blade.
23:14
We’ll survive… Easily…
July 7
05:23
Day two of hell. Nine days to go this including. Guess We’re gonna be fine. Did this shit before. It was different, it was at the beginning. Back then it was nothing, so now it should be the same. Might get a nap in at the job. Could get a nap in if all goes well.
Stay focused though. Gotta figure it out. Not many ideas, though a ton of options, figure out what those options are. What can you provide to those that think alike. Just ain’t gonna find them around here. Always remember…
Will find them eventually… At least, let’s hope so…
08:16
Damn… Throat’s all fucked up. Don’t know what that shit is. Tired as fuck. Can’t let it get to Us though.
Good nap… Gotta work it out of the system though. Still some shit coursing Our veins.
Back to it. Whatever this might be… Some days more than others. It’s weird, ain’t it.
Pushing this far? Who… Who’d consider pushing this far. Can barely stay awake, fuck… It’s hitting hard again. It always hits hard. Can’t even see straight. Then it’s gone, you know. Moving. But once We sit back down, the thing shows up again. And it’s draining Us even further. There’s no doubt about that…
This some bullshit though. Gotta find a way to fight this motherfucker. Always tired, you know. Always… Not one day, not two. Nor one week, nor two. Every damn week again and again. Day in, day out… That’s all there is. It’s what you get for pushing this hard. Hard is relative though. On a performance based view, this ain’t hard. On a consistent based view, think this is the hardest one can go…
Is it true… Maybe. Just maybe…
Write, that’s all. Just write. Whatever… It doesn’t matter. Get it all out. And, it’s good, for the mind… In a way… Don’t really know though. In a sense it’s always good, you know. To get this shit out.
Can’t take a decent shit though. A peaceful dump. Had to, but they’re here. The garbage trucks roll in, usually when the time ain’t right. That’s how life works. That’s how life always works. At least, for Us though. Don’t know about anybody else, because We barely talk to anybody else.
Hope We can still take that shit. Really hope so…
Get these words out though. Don’t keep ’em in. Would be stupid to keep ’em in. That shit bottles, boils, and the pressure blows the cap right off. Eventually. No doubt. Never any doubt about that. Though it’s a lot better lately. We don’t get as angry as We used to, not like that anymore. Sometimes We do get angry but then usually it’s about something such as sleeping in because We crash on a Saturday. Things like that.
Sometimes it might be about some bullshit that shouldn’t matter, but hey. We ain’t perfect yet, and We’re probably not gonna be. Never. Can’t. You just can’t. That shit’s impossible. But you can attempt being close to perfect, being close to correct. Maybe that’s the real reason in life. Being as correct as one can when it comes to their walk of life. Which is the hardest thing to do because nobody walks the same path. Every path is different. Though a lot of people follow that same highway. Don’t… Just don’t. That’s some stupid shit.
17:33
It’s always this. It has to be this. There’s nothing else. We must refine this. Get better at this particular day. It’s never the same, and you’ll never get it to be the same. But the concept, what’s inside the day, is the same, a neverending everyday grind. Get up, get after it, get to work, waste time, get back, get after it, eat and sleep… Repeat. Fucking repeat. How many times did you listen to the same song over and over. How many fucking times. This is exactly the same thing. The same god damn thing over and over again. There’s no end to it. No end. And if it ceases for any particular reason, then as soon as We can go after it again, We will. We must.
They talk about energy for days. We’ve got energy for months, years, infinity. There’s always more. Find it. Dig deep. Something will awaken. If not already rising from its slumber… Soon it will. Very soon. Can’t you feel that shit.
Man, We’re doing something. Something never done before. Really… We are. This ain’t no joke, not any longer. This is becoming something beyond. Beyond anything ever expected. We can keep pushing. We can… That’s certain.
Maybe it’s because We must. The answers lie along the way. All the answers… And We don’t even know the questions. That’s the craziest part. Those questions will show up just the same.
July 8
05:23
Fuck tired… Energy for months. Unlimited energy. Undepletable energy.
The shin’s a little fucked it seems. But that thing will be okay. Just power through… Roll through the motions. If We gotta go slow, then We gotta go slow. That’s what it is. Nothing more, nothing less.
‘Sgonna be a tough couple days but We’ll manage. We’ll definitely manage, as We always do. No doubt about that. Just a lot of pain to beat, a lot of struggle to confront. Gotta work through the discomfort. Use that mind, the all powerful madness circling that brain. Find any reason. And do not allow the mind’s treason to affect Our goals.
07:53
Seems We got some free time now. Take a damn nap. Get deep into the mentality thing. So more like meditation than a nap. Sort of the same thing though.
Yeah. This shit’s going somewhere. Not fast enough though. Gotta get better, quicker, at getting all this shit together.
14:18
Nobody’d wanna do this shit. Believe Us… This’some madness.
Here We are. Again. We’re doing the shit again. Nobody else’s doing the shit. What’s become obvious. Everybody does shit. True. But the shit they do ain’t this shit. Won’t even come close to this shit. They’ll pick up those easy things, the cushions, the feathers, the cotton. But they won’t grab a shovel and dig that hole. That deep neverending pit. All alone, by themselves, shoveling shit out. Real shit. Shit that doesn’t even shovel all that easy.
There’s no other option. We’ve thought about it. Endlessly… There’s no way out now. This is it. Our life.
Think We’re going in the right direction. Not there yet, probably never will hit a finish. There’s always some work to be done… And most of that labor is about the self.
Fucking sweating Our ass off. Took a nap and We’re covered in that shit. Don’t know if it’s just the situation We’re in… Or if We’re dying for real. Shouldn’t bother. Just get up and keep going. That’s all We can do. There’s no room for quiting, no room for giving up. No time for a doctor nor hospital. If that shit’s necessary, them it will happen when We’re stretched out along the ground. That’s that. It might happen, but think We’re fine. It’s all in the head to begin with. Whether it’s true or not. It’s always in the head. The body itself doesn’t care.
Without the mind the body wouldn’t know. So don’t let that mind focus on these simple things. Let it flow towards complexity and madness.
17:23
Guess We gotta catch up on some lost minutes here. A lot of work. Though if We break it down. We can fucking break it down. Get it done. It’s hard. Harsh. Tough and rough. It’s all that We hate. All that We love… It’s everything We know and everything We don’t. All the shit We’ve seen, and all that shit We haven’t.
It’s life. How do you live this shit. How do you live that which you’re not so certain about. All that doubt, all that opposition. All that shit you can’t really talk about because most wouldn’t even understand. They wouldn’t comprehend, because to them the madness is a curse. To Us. To Our kind, it’s a gift. The truth that lies within the insanity… That’s the gift given to those willing to search deep in the abyss of that vast ocean of notions.
Fuck. We need some space. We need some room. A particular escape from all this motion. You know. That flow of life. All these people, all these things. All that shit that clutters the mind. Gotta work on that crap. Really gotta dig deeper. Deeper than ever before. We can handle this shit. We can. But life will get fucked. We’ll forget more than usual, We’ll run around head in the clouds kinda. Distracted. Angry looking.
We gotta go harder. We gotta get down more of this shit than We ever did before. But before it wasn’t really true shit. Now… Now that shit’s different. True to Us. That’s certain. Haven’t written a single line of bullshit in a long while. Which is great. But We haven’t come an inch closer to what We really need. What do We really need? That’s a good question. It is about Us, not anyone else, that’s for sure. All they do is complain. It’s all you did too, but if We get away from that. If We slowly grow in that other direction… Then, maybe then, We can become something of value. To ourself, and to others.
Don’t know for sure though. It’s a strange quest, because there never is an answer to the ultimate question within this adventure. Will We make it? Can We make it work? Really ain’t got a damn clue.
Is this something valuable to begin with. This piece of shit. We can’t tell. We never can. We’re always trying to figure out whether something holds a particular message or not.
Done for now though. Gotta move on to those work outs and then the shop. After that, maybe…
July 9
05:23
It’s a damn Thursday. Maybe today. Maybe We can outlast the pain a little better. Gotta get better everyday. That’s it. Just that…
Anything else is of no concern. Because nothing else really matters. Man. We’re gonna die one day. All this will fade from Our existence. And eventually everyone will forget because they too will be dead. Gone. Finished. And most of them… They will hold on to dear life. This emotional state of control, this neverending seriousness.
We pity those that can’t see those trees, because their forest has grown thicker than ever before. Lost. At least We’re taking care of that bit. Day by day. Slowly but surely.
Don’t know if it’s true though. Could be delusional about it. The mind’s a tricky fucker…
07:08
That’s some funny shit…
No soccer and the whole populous loses their mind.
Ain’t got shit to do they say. Don’t know what to do with my life, they say. What a load of shit. So what happens when the soccer tournaments over? Do they go back to nothing and stay within that comfort. Behind the screen, on the couch, watching stupid shit?
Gotta focus though. We gotta focus real hard. It’s a weird thing though. That focus. It’s not so much that you’re zoned in on something. Sometimes, sure… Other times it’s that skimming. Trimming the edges. Refining…
What to do with this? We can go so deep. So many routes. All this shit. It’s Our own though. Nobody else’s.
11:14
New one’s are better sometimes. Hey. We got a lot of work. But break it down. Said the same shit yesterday. A lot of fucking work to do. But that’s a good thing. Makes it harder for everyone else. We love this amount of work. Don’t try and say otherwise. You know you do. The more that’s tied to this bullshit, well, the more fun unraveling the rope that’s intertwined.
The madness. It’s the big thing. But not the main thing… Nobody classifies their own madness. Might be that they’re not willing to put it in such a category.
14:17
It’s that shit. Don’t get distracted by any of them… Their bullshit, their comments… Whatever. It’s simple. Extremely. Straightforward. Without a doubt. You’ve got your shit. They’ll never deal with theirs. That’s what makes it simple. All their shit. All that bottled up trauma and neverending doubt roaming the brain. That’s something We need to deal with in order to stray from those dark thoughts.
We’ve found a way to eradicate this self-destructive nature by means of applying another form of self-destruction.
15:42
Gotta pull ourself away from this bitchy moany complaining mentality. It’s not providing any progress and just wasting Our time. That’s all it does. That’s all it ever will.
We also need to understand that no one here gets what We’re doing, though there’s enough people out there that will. Definitely. If men that go through harsh things can speak and reach people. You and your strangeness have a place in this world just the same. There’s no doubt about that. All We gotta learn is how to reach out. Reach millions with this madness and have them pursue their own sense of insanity without shame and fear of judgement. But to do that We must gain mastery over these two things ourself. That’s a first. Otherwise, what’s there to say. What can one say if he does not possess the proper understanding. The only way to get it is going through this. Whatever this is. Guess We’re at a certain limit again. All We gotta do is break one more barrier. Always break those barriers. They are self-imposed. All of them.
Jot down some shit man. Jot down that shit. Sweating Our ass off taking a shit. That’s what’s up…
17:24
Guess We’ll never know peace. A moment to rest Our thoughts. To put them in line. Figure them out. Guess We’re going nowhere like this. Can’t fucking focus on the important things because that bullshit keeps swirling about. Fuck these people man. They stupid. And not in the low IQ sense. Nah man. They just plain retarded to life. They don’t think, their mind thinks for them. Sad…
Sometimes the same happens to Us. But We break that pattern every damn time. It hurts. It hurts a lot. The brain’s dying over and over. Don’t know how many times We can handle this.
Fuck this…
Try and avoid it. As much as We can. Judgement. Complaints. Whatever that’s negative. But nothing’s positive either. What is just is. That’s it. Nothing more, nothing less… There’s nothing, and there ain’t nothing. Not even something. But with many people it’s always something. That’s the problem. And We can’t. Not any longer. We just can’t. There’s no room for that shit. There never was any, but We’ve allowed it to take up space for far too long.
Fuuuuck… Fuuuuuuck… Gotta fix it. Keep that mind on what’s necessary. What’s important. But that’s too vague. So what is it. The things that’re necessary, the ones that’re important? These workouts. The writing. The growth. The improvement. How does one improve? Is it through this? This madness. Hammering all the time. There’s no peace and quiet here. Not anymore. Not one moment of rest.
Don’t get distracted. Don’t let that mind go there. The place where everyone else lingers. It’s interesting though. All these people and all their ways. So weird… All of them, one after the other. We’re the weirdest of the bunch, true. But We know. They don’t seem to realize. About themselves that is. About Us, sure. They always do. It’s too obvious, and We’re not even trying. We see them trying every day though. Trying to act a certain way. The ego. The undefined mirror image. The eyes that gaze upon, but not a single set is really looking. They don’t care. We don’t care. Nobody really cares. Nobody ever did, and nobody ever will. All of them in a land of visuals, a movie playing alongside the fading seconds of reality. Tripping balls. That’s for sure. We’re tripping balls too, just not in that way.
Why are We what We are? Why are they what they are? It’s strange, is it not… Billions of degenerates roaming the surface all aware of nothing. Life passing by without a care for what really sits within the gift. Squandering the days endlessly, thinking we got time to spare. As if we’ve got a second chance. There ain’t no second chances. There ain’t no do-overs. That shit doesn’t exist. Never did and never will.
Hurts, doesn’t it. Thinking about all this shit. About the truth. Is this the truth. Maybe not. But it damn sure is a part of it. Or a gateway towards that reality of revelation.
20:31
Write it down. Write it all down. Get better at that shit.
How you feel
What you think
What you do
What happens
What doesn’t
Whatever comes to mind that might have value…
Write it all down.
That’s why We write this down. Because this too is part of that process. Get after it. Get better. Get harder. Do more. Always more.
22:18
One more. And one more. And one more. And We keep doing this. We’re actually fucking doing this. Gotta find Our way though. Maybe this is it… Maybe the way We do it now is the way We should. Is it clear? Does it hold a sense of clarity? Is what’s written inside valuable to anyone, mostly to ourself though? Maybe it’s like a notes to self. Maybe that’s what it is.
Used maybe so many times now kinda sick of it. Or maybe… Maybe We shouldn’t care about the maybe. Or anything for that matter.
Zoned out pretty bad there. Happens…
What to do though. Gotta get that shit ready for tomorrow. Wanna slur a couple more lines here. Gotta get to bed though. Get there real fast. Take a shit probably. Definitely. At least try to…
Think shit’s really gonna get hard. We’re gonna get harder as the shit We do gets harder. But We won’t know as it slowly goes up together. Increasingly. Remember the shit you started doing. Those hundred push-ups. Wasn’t even in the morning. Now it’s madness. Reps after reps after reps. Keep this shit going. Make it harder. As hard as possible.