Damn. This shit is getting out of hand. It really is. Sometimes We slack a bit, though We’re forcing ourself out of that habit. It’s a hard one if We’re honest. It truly is. Been doing that for so long, an entire lifetime if you will.
Do you know? The struggle. Not talking about life. The struggle with self. Do you know of that perpetual confrontation with all that is wrong? Not at the external, but all that is internal. The understanding, perception, the realization that We could’ve been more if We were only willing to pursue with more dedication, more discipline. Though time has passed, all that time. And there’s not a thing We can do about that. We’re not going to change that, it’s impossible. What We can change is Our attitude right now, Our way of thinking, Our focus on life, on what’s important.
Those That Linger
Do you contemplate these things? Do you go over these ideas, these notions, this struggle with self? There definitely are people out there, those that swim within the same insecurities, the same repetitive state of being. Are you one of those? It’s hard right now. Because We’re beginning to question whether those that stuck with Us throughout this time are a good fit for the time that’s about to follow. We know one guy might be, though We ain’t got nothing when it comes to support, or certain contemplations of life. Not that he’s no good. It’s just, life changes, people change, there’s nothing that can be done. Another one’s rock solid on particular aspects, but then again when it comes to other things, he’s not the best fit. Though the majority trumps so he’ll be able to stick around.
She’s never gonna be a problem, because she would never tell me not to do something, she would say, “go get it, but then really go get it. Stop complaining.” She’s good, she’s real good. But the wisdom factor has shrunk to the point where there’s no use to suck the knowledge from her brain any longer. You see, that’s what We do, We suck that brain dry. We occasionally suck those pussies, but they get wet. But with her it’s different. We don’t feel like ruining a good friendship.
Secrets Kept
Don’t know if you’d get it. You don’t know ’em anyway. Never talked about them to you, and We never talked about you to them. Haven’t talked to you in years actually. You were something, something else. That’s the only reason it happened, whatever that was. Nobody needs to know. We know you wouldn’t like that shit. Because you’ve got shit to maintain, you’ve got something to uphold. That’s that. Anything more would give it away.
But, always remember, when We found you, that’s when Our life got strange and simple at the same time, no other person ever managed to do that much. So, We thank you for that.
Emotionless Motions
Now, if you’d see Us now. Don’t know if you’d like it. We wouldn’t fit with your way of life, your reality. A lot has changed. Is it for the better? Who knows, We feel like it is, sort of, for now. Might grow into something true, something worthwhile, but only if We are honest. And We try to be, all the time, it’s hard for Us, you know. Though you know We’ve gained a lot to be honest about in the last ten years. Really became something We could be proud of, if only We were capable to create such a sensation.
Honestly, We don’t feel shit right now. We brought you back into Our mind, We’re considering them, losing them, what it was like losing you, and still, nothing… Just nothing. Even the notion of nothing fails to elicit any emotion. That’s just what We are. There’s nothing left. All of it burned, all of it wasted on nothing. Because they made Us, because they forced Us. And now, right here. We realize that there’s no way of getting it back. Everything has been tapped already. Life truly dragged this shit from Our soul, depleted the entire load of social emotion.
Taking Steps
For a minute, for an hour, for a year or two, everything was gone. Everything We’ve ever had, except for some of the junk We wrote down, and a bunch of the phones We used in those couple years prior, but everything else, it was all gone. All the stuff. Not a shirt to Our name, not a pair of pants that We owned. Nothing. Rags We wore. Miles We walked. Reflections We contemplated.
Glad We did that shit. Something We’ll never forget. But now it’s on to the next thing. Something else that’s rough.
Now it’s time for bed, well, that time passed about an hour ago. So We’ll hit the sheets. This wasn’t what We planned, but this turned out better than We hoped. Fuck it. Step by step, day by day. Defeat the failure. That’s how We’re gonna make it. Definitely, purposefully without purpose. That’s a tough one, ain’t it?