We never wrote you, never thought about writing you, until now. Hope you’re proud, probably think We’re crazy. Well, who wouldn’t, there’s some people out there going through far worse excruciation than We are at the moment, though We’re willing to up Our game step by step. It’ll take some time, just like anything does. Everything takes time, doesn’t it? Understanding, or at least, grasping this soul of Ours takes a whole lot of years, and now We understand this notion, this revelation. Well…
Everyone feared for Our safety, at that time, and you know which. And those that didn’t are some of the people We no longer talk to, or even consider. You on the other hand, for some reason, after all this time, We finally came to the point accepting and revelating on your advice. You chose a different life, We get that now, though now, today, for some time, We gained vision of a reality. If, only if, your life was a little different, you would’ve gone down a different path, one that didn’t include Us, and honestly, We wouldn’t’ve known, and We wouldn’t’ve minded. Here now thinking about that, We wouldn’t’ve minded. And that brings forth another set of contemplations.
Tweakin’ Hard
This here could be good enough a reason to venture as deep as possible. Either We shouldn’t have existed or We exist for some strange reason. One We’re supposed to figure out. As fast as possible it seems, though We still languish, still slumber. Not often, not always, but some times. We fail to maintain focus. You should know about this, you’re dealing with a similar mess. It goes beyond simple ADHD unlike what they would have us believe. They labeled it as such, though with you they didn’t even go as far as to label it.
Another notion is that the reason you chose this should fuel Our reason to choose this here because it proves the point that anything is possible. We are similar. That much is true in this existence of delusion. And it’s been a trip, hasn’t it? Do you tweak in a similar way? We wonder all the time, for Us it is something obvious since a while now, the tripping is part of who We are and it won’t ever leave Us alone. That’s just Our life, that’s why We ponder whether you experience a similar set of events throughout your day.
Twitching ‘n’ Itching
The biggest contemplation is a string of questions We ask ourself, they don’t have a lot to do with you though, they are important when it comes to unveiling, venturing deep down. Isn’t it important to ask yourself? Isn’t it prudent to consider your own doubts, go over all that could be wrong, with yourself, what’s in front of you, what has been created? How far are you willing to go? Not physical distance, not anything like that. How far are you willing to go within, deep down into the abyss that drags the shadow of your sorrow about? The darkness, can you face the darkness? The truth, can you face that?
There’s more, a lot more, but what’s important here is to understand that these are general question, everyone should ask themselves these kinds of notions, get that brain twitching and itching. There’s more, definitely more, a lot more down there, even the most successful students of the mind’s toughness, the mind’s limits, they haven’t even gotten that far yet, though they’ve traveled an ultra stretch of contemplation and extreme revelation. The disquiet all this must’ve brought forth in their minds. Everything that pushes them daily and onward. There’s no end to that. We understand that now, We definitely do.
Hope you ever get to that point, you know, the end of ignorance. You’ve got that down when it comes to many things in life, though this, this is a hard one isn’t it?
Out Back
Fuck, let’s switch it up, the last part here. We had to go out back, couldn’t concentrate with that stupid TV show. You know how it goes, some days it’s just fine and others, well, We’re a mess. So, We went out back. Done with that bullshit, you know, wasting precious time. Should’ve come here way sooner, but it’s always like, “yeah, We’ll manage.” But then We don’t, and now We’re fucking angry. Writing on paper in the stupid rain. But whose fault is that really? We should’ve just focused and then We’d be done already, but We’re not and now We’re writing this, and maybe this is exactly what We were supposed to write, what We were supposed to get to, to this point where We utter honest sensations of Our current existence, where We say fuck it to both sides of the coin. That notion where We know We fucked up and the constant ponder that’s got Us behind this pad, pen in hand with vigor because We just can’t let go. We just can not leave this be. An entire page is an entire page whether We like it or not. Whether Our time allows this or not. And now We’re fucking focused, fucking angry, but definitely focused.
Damn This Cycle
Still don’t get why We allow ourself to get distracted, We should be able to pull this off by now, in any type of room, space, whatever. Under any circumstances. Though We struggle, not often, but We struggle now and then to keep the flame ablaze when it comes to this, the writing, filling those pages.
There’s one thing you must understand by now, We’re really trying to change Our life, flip it around. Become a cleaner version of ourself, though to do such a thing We must first find and create the will to do so, an undying will to grind at this one vision. To break a cycle no man could ever shatter. That much is obvious at the moment and We do pray you can see that and not question Our sanity in the process. Though insanity is a given anyway.